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Friday night I did a rewatch of the first two Captain America movies. When Bucky fell off the train into the chasm, I made a distressed noise that caused my cat Noodles to get up from where she was dozing on a different chair and come snuggle beside me on the couch. Thank you, Noodles. <3 I needed that comfort in a time of emotions.
Saturday night I went to see Captain America: Civil War. Tragically, Noodles could not accompany me to help me deal with all my feels.
-Overall, I loved it! There are a number of caveats I’ll get to, but overall I think it was a strong movie, about as strong as it could be given the fundamentally annoying “make the heroes punch each other” premise.
-I would watch an entire movie of Steve, Sam, and Bucky roadtripping in a VW bug. I would watch a TRILOGY about that.
-It was fun to watch the movie with an excited opening weekend crowd, including my friend L. who is kinda hilariously reactive to things she’s watching. The most amusing moment of reaction happened when Steve and Sharon kissed.
CROWD: general reactive murmurs, many sounding surprised or negative, but a few “awwws”.
SOME GUY: *wolf whistle*
FRIEND L: What the whaaat??!? (After the movie, she said she found it really weird that Steve seemed to be having a thing with the niece of the woman he used to be involved with. Very valid point.)
ME: Well that was random. (By “random” I meant “obvious attempt to shoehorn in a heteronormative romantic moment to obscure the fact that this movie reads much more naturally as a love story between Steve and Bucky.”)
BUCKY AND SAM: Quick, we have to make faces like amused, pleased, straight wingmen to cover up our jealousy.
-I HAVE SO MANY BUCKY BARNES FEELS RIGHT NOW. (This is typical for days ending in -y, but especially true at the moment.) Pardon me while I wordvomit, or feel free to skip to the next bullet point. Poor sad trashpanda was just trying to lay low and deal with his shit in peace, having recovered his sense of self all on his own, then some asshole decides to frame him and Steve found him but they had no time to have a proper conversation (and certainly not reunion sex, dammit) before a lot of cops showed up and they had to have a foot chase in the car traffic and then he got arrested and strapped to a fucking chair, which must have been brutal given how many awful things he’s experienced strapped to a chair, and then said asshole REACTIVATES HIS PROGRAMMING AND FUCKS UP HIS HEAD AGAIN and made him kill more people, but Steve still believed in him and showed this by getting into a tug of war with a helicopter, and Bucky totally could have shot Steve but even through the programming he didn’t do that and instead just crashed the helicopter. And then Steve pulled him out of a river after an aircraft crash because they are always saving each other and apparently going unconscious plus seeing Steve got him back in his head. And then he had to fight some superheroes because he always helps Steve out in his fights and also they thought they needed to keep the asshole from taking over the world, but it turned out asshole just wanted the superheroes to fight more and decided to provoke that by using stuff that HYDRA brainwashed Bucky into doing and there was a lot of fighting that could have been avoided if Tony would have calmed down for ten minutes and considered the meaning of BRAINWASHING and then Bucky’s arm got ripped off and it’s clear that that thing was linked to his pain receptors, ack! And then everyone was finally so punched into a pulp that they calmed the fuck down at last but Bucky was so worried about his inability to control his own head that he had himself put back into cryofreeze, goddamn it. But it’s a long way between Siberia and Wakanda, so hopefully Steve and Bucky managed to get some sexytimes in at some point.
-Steve is still very much a tiny stubborn lonely kid inside, and it hurts my heart. I just want him to be happy, dammit. It’s clear that he would give up pretty much anything and everything for Bucky.
-I really loved the opening Avengers mission where it’s clear that they’ve been working together and training Wanda in espionage and superhero team skills. The followup conversation between Wanda and Steve where they discuss how to deal with having made mistakes that led to people dying was also great.
-Sam! I enjoyed watching the badass new moves he had like using the wings as a shield. I love the further deepening of his friendship with Steve (he went with Steve to Peggy’s funeral, awww) and how he is thoroughly part of the team. Wish he’d had a bit more of a plotline of his own, oh well. I am highly amused at the way they gave Sam a drone as a nod to comics!Falcon’s actual falcon Redwing.
-Natasha is trying so hard to do the right thing for the world while also doing right by her friends. She gets a lot of shit from people for being morally grey but I think she’s actually a deeply moral person, she just is willing to do more dubious things in support of the larger picture. I adored the scene where she came to the end of Peggy’s funeral and gave Steve a hug. (This movie needed so many more hugs for Steve, and everyone else too.) I wish the movie had more of her, but then again, that’s my complaint with every Marvel movie. If they ever make a Black Widow film my complaint will be the ten minutes she’s not onscreen.
-Super excited to see Black Panther! His look and fighting style were a joy to behold. Even in this crowded movie he got a plotline of his own. It was a pretty simplistic “Grief=>Vengeance Quest=>Really Stubborn About That Vengeance=>Finally Laying Down the Need for Vengeance” storyline, but he handled it with grace and charisma. I look forward to the Black Panther movie and getting to know him more.
-I don’t care if Vision was “worthy” to lift Mjolnir in AoU, because in this movie he was definitely the Creepy Boyfriend towards Wanda. He walks through walls to intrude on Wanda’s conversation in her room. He prevents her from leaving the house. Dude, just because you’re a mystical android or whatever doesn’t make this stuff okay. Wanda, meanwhile, is maturing into a thoughtful young BAMF; she's great.
-The scene at the end with Rhodey and Tony (and the most excellent Stan Lee cameo) was lovely. I suspect Rhodey will be calling literally everyone he knows to tell them about Tony Stank. I do wish the movie had made a bit more focus on his friendship with Tony before the accident. He got grievously injured to further the (white) main characters’ plotlines, and didn’t even get much character development to make up for it. :( I hope this isn’t the end of his appearances in the MCU.
-The things I disliked most were mostly the things I already disliked going into the movie, namely the general premise that all the heroes are fighting each other and that the movie shoehorns in Ant-Man and Spider-Man instead of focusing on the already large cast of existing Avengers. Black Panther is a cast addition that made sense, but those two were only there to pad out the fight scenes and have some one-liners. The scenes with the Arthropod Dudes were lots of fun, but they were tangents that I felt weakened the movie as a whole.
-It felt really contrived to me how the movie had all the characters willfully refuse to calm down, listen, or compromise so it could get all of the superheroes fighting. I dislike this whole Civil War premise and hope that future movies go back to building a team instead to fight actual evil.
-Hot Young Aunt May? Whyyyyyyyyyyy? I am weirded out.
-I am a super bummed that Tony and Pepper have broken up and that she wasn’t in this movie. It explains some of Tony’s less than stellar decisions and poorer than usual emotional stability in this film, but I wish it hadn’t happened and I hope it is undone AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Like, I want a random scene in Doctor Strange where someone is looking at the celebrity news and sees that Tony Stark and Pepper Potts have gotten back together. That is the urgency of this situation.
-Seriously, why did Tony decide that a battle with other superheroes where various governments were just itching to arrest the lot of them was the right time to bring in the teenage kid crimefighter he’s been eying? Pepper would never have let this happen.
-“Spider-Man WIll Return” said the end of the credits. Of course Spider-Man will fucking return. More Spider-Man movies are only slightly less certain than death and taxes. I really like the character, but the number of movies he has (especially compared to all the heroes who aren't white dudes) is ridiculous.
-Personal headcanon that Clint and Natasha started fighting each other in the big brawl because they were each trying to keep the other away from the more enhanced fighters who might hurt them worse.
-When Nick Fury gets back from wherever he is, he is going to be SO PISSED OFF.
-Can the Captain America scenes in the next Avengers movies just be Steve receiving hugs and having barbecues with his friends and petting animals and generally being happy? And the same for Bucky? Plus lots of them tenderly making out? No? Well, thank heavens for fanfiction.
Saturday night I went to see Captain America: Civil War. Tragically, Noodles could not accompany me to help me deal with all my feels.
-I would watch an entire movie of Steve, Sam, and Bucky roadtripping in a VW bug. I would watch a TRILOGY about that.
-It was fun to watch the movie with an excited opening weekend crowd, including my friend L. who is kinda hilariously reactive to things she’s watching. The most amusing moment of reaction happened when Steve and Sharon kissed.
CROWD: general reactive murmurs, many sounding surprised or negative, but a few “awwws”.
SOME GUY: *wolf whistle*
FRIEND L: What the whaaat??!? (After the movie, she said she found it really weird that Steve seemed to be having a thing with the niece of the woman he used to be involved with. Very valid point.)
ME: Well that was random. (By “random” I meant “obvious attempt to shoehorn in a heteronormative romantic moment to obscure the fact that this movie reads much more naturally as a love story between Steve and Bucky.”)
BUCKY AND SAM: Quick, we have to make faces like amused, pleased, straight wingmen to cover up our jealousy.
-I HAVE SO MANY BUCKY BARNES FEELS RIGHT NOW. (This is typical for days ending in -y, but especially true at the moment.) Pardon me while I wordvomit, or feel free to skip to the next bullet point. Poor sad trashpanda was just trying to lay low and deal with his shit in peace, having recovered his sense of self all on his own, then some asshole decides to frame him and Steve found him but they had no time to have a proper conversation (and certainly not reunion sex, dammit) before a lot of cops showed up and they had to have a foot chase in the car traffic and then he got arrested and strapped to a fucking chair, which must have been brutal given how many awful things he’s experienced strapped to a chair, and then said asshole REACTIVATES HIS PROGRAMMING AND FUCKS UP HIS HEAD AGAIN and made him kill more people, but Steve still believed in him and showed this by getting into a tug of war with a helicopter, and Bucky totally could have shot Steve but even through the programming he didn’t do that and instead just crashed the helicopter. And then Steve pulled him out of a river after an aircraft crash because they are always saving each other and apparently going unconscious plus seeing Steve got him back in his head. And then he had to fight some superheroes because he always helps Steve out in his fights and also they thought they needed to keep the asshole from taking over the world, but it turned out asshole just wanted the superheroes to fight more and decided to provoke that by using stuff that HYDRA brainwashed Bucky into doing and there was a lot of fighting that could have been avoided if Tony would have calmed down for ten minutes and considered the meaning of BRAINWASHING and then Bucky’s arm got ripped off and it’s clear that that thing was linked to his pain receptors, ack! And then everyone was finally so punched into a pulp that they calmed the fuck down at last but Bucky was so worried about his inability to control his own head that he had himself put back into cryofreeze, goddamn it. But it’s a long way between Siberia and Wakanda, so hopefully Steve and Bucky managed to get some sexytimes in at some point.
-Steve is still very much a tiny stubborn lonely kid inside, and it hurts my heart. I just want him to be happy, dammit. It’s clear that he would give up pretty much anything and everything for Bucky.
-I really loved the opening Avengers mission where it’s clear that they’ve been working together and training Wanda in espionage and superhero team skills. The followup conversation between Wanda and Steve where they discuss how to deal with having made mistakes that led to people dying was also great.
-Sam! I enjoyed watching the badass new moves he had like using the wings as a shield. I love the further deepening of his friendship with Steve (he went with Steve to Peggy’s funeral, awww) and how he is thoroughly part of the team. Wish he’d had a bit more of a plotline of his own, oh well. I am highly amused at the way they gave Sam a drone as a nod to comics!Falcon’s actual falcon Redwing.
-Natasha is trying so hard to do the right thing for the world while also doing right by her friends. She gets a lot of shit from people for being morally grey but I think she’s actually a deeply moral person, she just is willing to do more dubious things in support of the larger picture. I adored the scene where she came to the end of Peggy’s funeral and gave Steve a hug. (This movie needed so many more hugs for Steve, and everyone else too.) I wish the movie had more of her, but then again, that’s my complaint with every Marvel movie. If they ever make a Black Widow film my complaint will be the ten minutes she’s not onscreen.
-Super excited to see Black Panther! His look and fighting style were a joy to behold. Even in this crowded movie he got a plotline of his own. It was a pretty simplistic “Grief=>Vengeance Quest=>Really Stubborn About That Vengeance=>Finally Laying Down the Need for Vengeance” storyline, but he handled it with grace and charisma. I look forward to the Black Panther movie and getting to know him more.
-I don’t care if Vision was “worthy” to lift Mjolnir in AoU, because in this movie he was definitely the Creepy Boyfriend towards Wanda. He walks through walls to intrude on Wanda’s conversation in her room. He prevents her from leaving the house. Dude, just because you’re a mystical android or whatever doesn’t make this stuff okay. Wanda, meanwhile, is maturing into a thoughtful young BAMF; she's great.
-The scene at the end with Rhodey and Tony (and the most excellent Stan Lee cameo) was lovely. I suspect Rhodey will be calling literally everyone he knows to tell them about Tony Stank. I do wish the movie had made a bit more focus on his friendship with Tony before the accident. He got grievously injured to further the (white) main characters’ plotlines, and didn’t even get much character development to make up for it. :( I hope this isn’t the end of his appearances in the MCU.
-The things I disliked most were mostly the things I already disliked going into the movie, namely the general premise that all the heroes are fighting each other and that the movie shoehorns in Ant-Man and Spider-Man instead of focusing on the already large cast of existing Avengers. Black Panther is a cast addition that made sense, but those two were only there to pad out the fight scenes and have some one-liners. The scenes with the Arthropod Dudes were lots of fun, but they were tangents that I felt weakened the movie as a whole.
-It felt really contrived to me how the movie had all the characters willfully refuse to calm down, listen, or compromise so it could get all of the superheroes fighting. I dislike this whole Civil War premise and hope that future movies go back to building a team instead to fight actual evil.
-Hot Young Aunt May? Whyyyyyyyyyyy? I am weirded out.
-I am a super bummed that Tony and Pepper have broken up and that she wasn’t in this movie. It explains some of Tony’s less than stellar decisions and poorer than usual emotional stability in this film, but I wish it hadn’t happened and I hope it is undone AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Like, I want a random scene in Doctor Strange where someone is looking at the celebrity news and sees that Tony Stark and Pepper Potts have gotten back together. That is the urgency of this situation.
-Seriously, why did Tony decide that a battle with other superheroes where various governments were just itching to arrest the lot of them was the right time to bring in the teenage kid crimefighter he’s been eying? Pepper would never have let this happen.
-“Spider-Man WIll Return” said the end of the credits. Of course Spider-Man will fucking return. More Spider-Man movies are only slightly less certain than death and taxes. I really like the character, but the number of movies he has (especially compared to all the heroes who aren't white dudes) is ridiculous.
-Personal headcanon that Clint and Natasha started fighting each other in the big brawl because they were each trying to keep the other away from the more enhanced fighters who might hurt them worse.
-When Nick Fury gets back from wherever he is, he is going to be SO PISSED OFF.
-Can the Captain America scenes in the next Avengers movies just be Steve receiving hugs and having barbecues with his friends and petting animals and generally being happy? And the same for Bucky? Plus lots of them tenderly making out? No? Well, thank heavens for fanfiction.
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