Cliff/Shag/Marry meme

[tardis_stowaway]

Here's the ever-popular game of cliff/shag/marry, most lately ganked from isiscaughey :

1) Comment to this and I will give you 3 people.
2) Post this meme with your answers.
3) Provide pictures (at least for the hawt ones) and the names of the 3 people I gave you.
4) Label which you would marry, shag, and throw off a cliff.

isiscaughey  made me choose between Spike, Nine, and Mr. Darcy.  This is a nigh-impossible choice, as all three are far too hot to die, but here's what I'm going with. 

Cliff:  Spike



It slays me to cliff Spike (pun intended), but it had to be him because (a) he would survive, provided the cliffing was done at night and he didn't fall on pointy wood through the heart, (b) depending on where we are looking at in his timeline, he might be evil (dangerously attractive evil), and (c) even if the cliff would kill him, the alternative is tossing Nine or Mr. Darcy, and that's just unacceptable. 

Shag:  Mr. Darcy




Marry:  Nine




So, why shag Darcy and marry Nine?  After all, Darcy is likely the least experienced of the three in the sack, and marriage to the Doctor, Mr. "I don't do domestic," would be full of challenges.  However, I suspect that Mr. Darcy's Regency-era upbringing would be an obstacle to happy marriage.  Even for a fundamentally good, respectful man like Mr. Darcy, who clearly has a thing for independent women, the expectations a man of his time would have about a wife's role in the marriage are going to clash with my progressive, feminist early 21st century values.

Of course, the Doctor's Time Lord values would be just as problematic in different ways, so that can't be the whole story.  They say it's important to marry somewhat who shares some of your interests, and I'm interested in traveling and learning about new people and places.  The Doctor also has more of a sense of humor than Darcy.  Finally, let us consider Elizabeth Bennet's half-joking statement that she loved Darcy from the moment she saw "his beautiful grounds at Pemberly."  Now, Pemberly is a huge and lovely estate, but the Doctor's estate is Time itself.  Darcy can go jump in a lake.  (Actually, Darcy + lake sounds like a splendid pre-shag plan.) 

Comments

[reverendjmg.livejournal.com]

Oooh, oooh! In "The Aztecs," One is hanging out in this Aztec Garden For Old People, and there's this lovely elderly lady who's all like, want to share the ceremonial cup of hot cocoa with me? And the Doctor, by agreeing without knowing what it meant, accidentally got himself married to her.

[tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com]

That is awesome. It's not just fanfic after all!