Sort of fic: Moriarty Went Down to Baker Street

[tardis_stowaway]

My muse has sadly been in a state of deep hibernation for quite some time.  However, it recently occurred to me that I never bothered to publicly own up to a little fragment of Sherlock crack I wrote for the kink meme many moons ago (original thread here). The prompt was Sherlock and Moriarty duel with banjos fancy violins.  My response is a bit of doggerel set to the tune to "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."  If you aren't familiar with the song, go listen because otherwise my parody will seem even more nonsensical than it already is. 

This is un-betaed and utterly ridiculous.  I apologize in advance for abuses to rhyme and meter, especially the part where I rhyme "umbellas" with "oh hell yes."  I should probably be much more ashamed of that than I am.



Moriarty Went Down to Baker Street
a Sherlock/Devil Went Down to Georgia parody by tardis_stowaway

Moriarty went down to Baker Street
He was looking to play a game
He was feeling bored
With his criminal horde
And he was dangerously deranged.

When he burst in on Sherlock
Sawing on a fiddle and playing it loud
Moriarty jumped up on Sherlock's sofa
And said "Daddy's had enough now.

"You may have already deduced it,
But I'm a fiddle player too.
And if you care to take a dare,
I'll play a game with you.

"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy,
But give this criminal his due:
If you win, I'll be jailed, but if you fail,
I'll burn the heart out of you."

Sherlock said, "I'm told that I don't have one,
And I'll take your empire down.
I'll play your game, you're gonna feel shame,
'Cause I'm the best in London town."

Sherlock rosin up your bow and play your fiddle true
'Cause Moriarty's in your flat with his band of snipers too!
And if you win, the Napoleon of Crime will be gone,
But if you lose, the snipers will kill John!

Moriarty opened up his case
And he said "I'll start this show."
Red sniper dots danced all around
As he rosined up his bow.

Then he dragged his bow across the strings
And it made an evil squeal
And a band of henchmen joined in
And that's when things got real.

[EVIL VIOLIN JAM]

When Moriarty finished,
Sherlock said, "Well you're pretty good, old Jim.
But just give a stare at the skull right there
While my skills make you feel dim."

He played Semtex in the bomb vest
Run, boys, run!
John's looking badass with a gun.
Mycroft running Britain with umbrellas
Baskerville, does your hound bite? Oh hell yes.

[GENIUS DETECTIVE VIOLIN JAM]

Moriarty stomped his foot
Because he knew he'd been outplayed.
He broke his word and tried to leave
But got caught in Lestrade's raid.

Sherlock said, "Jim, it's been a pleasure,
But you'll never leave jail again.
I informed you once, you son of a bitch
Don't mess with my Watson!"

He played Semtex in the bomb vest
Run, boys, run!
John's looking badass with a gun.
Mycroft running Britain with umbrellas
Baskerville, does your hound bite? Oh hell yes.

[BROMANTIC VIOLIN JAM]

Comments

[redjaywrites.livejournal.com]

ALL THE AWARDS.

[tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[rosa-acicularis.livejournal.com]

AND THAT'S WHEN THINGS GOT REAL.

I love this.

[tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com]

Why thank you!

[sylvansafekeepe.livejournal.com]

I must confess that I was tempted to tape myself playing this while in my Sherlock coat. Then I thought better of it, mainly because:

A) People don't want to hear me sing. Really.
B) It'd be damned difficult to do this without any other instrumental accompaniment.
C) I don't look anything like Sherlock *or* Moriarty.
D) The amount of work necessary to make this be anything above cringe-worthy would be truly staggering.

I will, however, note that you should really watch the music video for the sequel, "The Devil Comes Back To Georgia", which is superior to the original in many ways. Most notably:

A) Mark O'Connor is a much better fiddler than Charlie Daniels. And he plays music while riding a skateboard.
B) It has Johnny Cash.
C) It has a creepy baby.

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0XUTD7QYcs

[tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com]

Ha! The obstacles in the way of you actually recording this are perfectly understandable. (It's not a song that requires much in the way of range or tone quality for singing, but I still understand the impulse to avoid showing one's singing voice to Teh Interwebs.) However, just the mental image of you recording this song in costume was pretty entertaining. So thanks for that.

Thanks also for the video link. I think I'd heard that sequel at some point, but the campy video and the knowledge that Johnny Cash was involved definitely added something.